Friday, January 25, 2008

Oops, no, I'm not going through with that reference

Sorry for the missed post, loves, but I actually had my first bad (mood-wise, and to be honest mental health-wise) night in a long while. Of course this wasn't a mental collapse, just a bad night and a rough morning. But none of that was too bad, it simply derailed my plans for the evening. Which gets me athinkin' that I should probably start doing more work in advance, because you never know when a bad night might strike. On the other hand if you plan for everything in advanced, well, I can't say what would happen to you and you should be ashamed for asking me to say that. However, I know when I put on myself the necessity to do everything in advance I simply get overwhelmed all the time, instead of just near deadlines. And yet I can't really afford to be overwhelmed near deadlines as the waiting till the last minute plan sometimes leads to.

So what to do? I could say it's a matter of balance, and I suppose it is, but no matter how you balance things, there are still going to be bad nights at bad times. With plans, everything's always a little bit of a gamble, and I really should accept that. Yet, I also think...

Really I think I probably should relax to some degree about these far away plans. What I mean to say is, I should keep some important stuff in mind, keep some lesser stuff in the background but not worry myself about everything that is worry-worthy that I might encounter in the wandering of my mind and body, because to be quite frank, the world is filled with worry-worth stuff. And with all that sort of stuff out there, the mind, the soul, the spirit needs to relax, probably in the shade if there's some shade around.

All that said, attention must be paid to important matters. But there's nothing wrong with taking a breather...

Saying all that really amounts to nothing if you think about it. So let me try to clarify, my plan (and something perhaps you should think about since I AM RAND and thus my plans should be rich and delicious food for thought for you) is to keep track of very important things. Well, let me clarify this even further by making tiers. First tier is those very important things that I need to keep track of.

First tier: Church stuff (ie, going to church every Sunday I can and holy days of obligation if I can), school stuff, job search, writing, a relatively regular social life (talking to other people in some form every couple days), making sure I relax every now and then and maintain good mental health, taking time for introspection, possibly finishing some project that's near completion, and getting some time, but not necessarily a lot of time (at least 2-4 hours in a week) for some things the second tier.

Second tier: Improving my health, improving my comp. and other skills, learning Malayalam, connecting with old friends, getting a girlfriend, in a general sense, long-term goals (which, depending on how busy my life is, or how old I've gotten, or other circumstances, might be moved up to first tier or dropped down to third tier), and random projects (which, depending on how close they are to completion or how the first tier stuff they relate to becomes more or less important, could move up to first tier or dropped down to third tier)

Third tier: Watching more movies, improving my poker game, reading more books, getting better social habits, keeping my room neat, in short, stuff that's nice/fun to do but not very important, really long-term goals of lesser importance, and some long-shot projects (some of this stuff could be moved w/ life changes).

That's my overall sense of things.
To be concise, really important things keep good track of;
lesser important things, make sure you're making progress in the long term but don't worry too much about;
slightly important or unimportant stuff, if you can do it great, if you can't don't worry about it.

Of course, such a general sense of things is still only a vague guide, and even within this vague guide there might be misplaced priorities needing tweaking.

No matter what plans of action you have, no matter how well you schedule, things are going to get messed up, least that's how I see it. So that's okay.

But when life hands you a SNAFU (situation normal: all fucked up), just press on.

After all, in the end, what matters is if you kept up the good fight for what you truly believe is right;
if at your deathbed, you still have faith in goodness;
if you keep love at the center of your heart to your moment of expiration;

if you are, knowingly or unknowingly, implicitly or explicitly, with results or without results, a follower of God.

Least that's how I see it.

Anywho, take it to your head, take it to your heart and remember Rand rocks. Goodnight Folks!

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