There's work and there's work. And there's sometimes there's well, then sometimes there's just the Rand Show.
And yet my brain's still bleeding. Largely because this day has been (and given I still have a number of things to do, is continuing to be) another intense chapter of an intense week.
Low sleep + lot's of thinking (Number Theory isn't for the faint of brain, unless they're too stubborn to realize they're faint of brain) + lots of projects (I got all these nice little plans for my projects all laid out, and now they're going to horribly collapse once I start to implement them) + career thinking (careers, careers, careers, and braziers) + More Johnny means More Better = my brain, my brain, it bleeds!!!
But, despite things being intense, I'm finding surprisingly that work's getting done at a decent clip. The question is whether I can maintain it at this clip. And the answer to that would be no. I've already been missing far too much sleep, spending far too little time with my friends and family, and adding to a dangerous stress potential that could explode at any moment (by this I mean while I'm not stressed out right now, if I didn't reassure myself that the situation was doable I would be immensely, explosively stressed). That said, I should be able to get a leet beet of time to relax in about a week. That also said, I also am going to have to be studying hard for my finals (although compared to the amount of work I'm juggling now that should not be (but it could be) a problem). Those two things said, my mostly open finals period should give me some time to hang with my buds which should be immensely relaxing (hopefully), and with all of that said I must reveal the deep dark secret:
I'm going to India.
Actually only for two weeks, which is a relatively short trip. But then it's off to California for two weeks. And all you loyal readers will be going waaaah, waah, waah (you know you will be). And I'm just going to have to try to post when I can, or maybe, just maybe I might be able to get a fill-in poster, but my previous attempts to acquire such an individual have been unsuccessful.
It's strange being busy. For most of my life, doing one thing that was not school-related was a full day. Doing two things not school related, now that was a busy day. Laziness, fear of failure, yammering complaints, all them were keeping me down (and not down in the d-town). But here I am, actually busy. Weird.
I tend to surprise myself that I often rise to the occasion when needed. That's not to brag because the occasion is usually my own fault. But it is a little bit of comfort. And it is a hope, because there will surely be occasions in the future and almost certainly one of those occasions will kill me, after all we all need to go sometime.
But hopefully, even that occasion I can rise to, and hopefully I can lie on my death bed with my fear overwhelmed by hope, love and faith.
6 months ago