Monday, February 18, 2008


I had been thinking for a couple weeks now, that I would take a break of 6 months. Actually I had been thinking about a year off but I had told my family 6 months because I wanted to ease them into the concept. They did not respond favorably to the proposal.

Mostly their objections were you're going to get nothing out of it, I'll loose my "focus," I'll have to explain it to my employers, and other more minor complaints.

But I have answers to all of that, to a degree. What am I going to get out of 6 months off? A break from everything. Some easy time. A chance to sharpen my job skills. An opportunity to get some new exposures. Some time to seek out romance (although there's a perfectly reasonable objection to that: who wants to date a guy with no job?). Most importantly, I always have side projects which could use some working.

What about my "focus"? My focus has always been on my own stuff. Jobs and such have always been a route to get that, and so I don't think taking time off will dampen my focus.

With explanation to employers? Plenty of people take some time off, it wouldn't be a strange thing to talk about to an employer.

And there are more minor answers to more minor objections.

But while all those objections are answerable, they are only answerable to a degree. They all tend to add little bits of discontent into the plan.

Ultimately though, the real breaking point is this, what really would I be doing for 6 months? Taking a break? I'd get bored quick. Working on projects? Well, I can do that, but if I really want to focus on that, I'd have to reorient my life into a sort of work-like mindset. Traveling? Well, I can do that a little, but eventually my money's going to run out.

Ultimately, I'd be half-assing everything. I'd be doing a little working, a little relaxing, a little traveling, a little bit of this and a little bit of that, and nothing of anything enough to get some real satisfaction. So in the end it just doesn't make sense to take that amount of time out.

So then why did I come up with that idea?

I suppose I wanted to have a moment of my life that was really, really mine. But the thing is even with no work, no devotion to a single project, no focus, there are still obligations, there are still pressures, and then there's still the needs to work, to strive...

To find God and pursue righteousness.

And while sometimes I find that burden heavy, Jesus will help me carry it. And it might be hard sometimes, but you still need to soldier on.

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