I'm sure in the grand scheme of things there's a rhyme and/or a reason to everything.
But more specifically with events in my life, and feelings in my brain, I don't think there really needs to be a reason that deals with me. I mean events happen for reasons, but those reasons could largely concern the actions of other people. And with feelings...
With feelings... well, I feel like we're taught that every feeling has a reason. In this post-Freudian era, every unhappy moment has some hidden trauma behind it. Yet sometimes I think, especially with me and certain medical circumstances of mine, sometimes feelings just come on you like waves of the ocean guided by some unseen moon. It just hits you and all of a sudden you're full of anger, or full of sadness. And despite your best efforts you can't figure out why. The best you can do in a situation like that, or the best I can do, myself, is weather it out, endure the storm, and wait for the waters to calm or for your body or mind to become used to the currents.
However, sometimes feelings do have reasons. Sometimes there are hidden or not-so-hidden reasons for feelings that have to be dealt with. And sometimes it is not easy to distinguish between the completely irrational feelings and those with a core of truth to them. We are biological creatures, built with raging chemicals, but we are also creatures built from experiences (we are in the end crafted by God, but these are the means), and so while biology may explain our turbulent moods, usually the reasoning is a combo of biology and reasons. Except when the turbulent moods don't stop, you can't just say it's one or the other or both, but all of the above, mixed together. If it's not easy to sort out the mess, well, sometimes' life's not easy.
If I were to say any way out of the matter, I would be simplifying far too much. But it is best to pay attention to your emotions, to know when to resist them when they threaten to destroy your mind for no reason, but also to learn when to dissect them to find the truthful core. The best way to distinguish between the two is to pay attention to the circumstances around the emotions, if there is a reasoned core to the feelings, the same circumstances should eventually repeat themselves and revel themselves to be a trigger. And yet one should also be careful about paying too much attention to their emotions, while the unexamined life may not be worth living, neither is one devoted solely to self-obsessed introspection.
And so sometimes we are left with questions about feelings that defy attempts to answer them.
So be it.
Still we march on, for no matter how the waves might batter us, there is a glorious sunrise on the horizon.
So take it to your head, take it to your heart and remember Rand rocks. Goodnight Folks!
4 months ago