It at least always seems that way with me. Meh, that's enough of all that, well not really, but let me punctuate the mood by saying
Mooohga, booga, BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And that's about that
Anywho, you'd be surprised how easily things can end in madness. Take an example of an average conversation, I talk to someone, maybe mention the weather, maybe ask how they're doing, etc. Instantly I starting picking apart every possible action and inaction, every word and pause, every bit of being of the other person to try to find something to show that this person hates me. Then I turn on myself, and start tearing through my own actions to try to find something I did that was rude, idiotic, or annoying to the other person, or something I should have done to be nice. Matters only get worse when I speak to girls, especially girls I like. There matters get dicy. Dicy with a capital DICY. So it then goes to madness.
What to make of it then? Because if this session ends up as just a complaining session I'm probably going to chuck it. So then there must be anlaysis. SO LET IT BE!!!
Well, as it is, it's just something I need to deal with. In my life, I'm constantly hit by anxieties and obsessions, and in the end, I just have to throw these fears away. My life would pretty sad if I actually listened to those fears. Actually there have been several periods in my life when I've actually listened to my fears, and then I've been locked in my room and curled up in my bed trying desperately not to move. But that's life, and in the end I'm in control of my mind and I can order myself to ignore my fears and such, and blah, blah, blah, blah.
So that's about that.
Seeing as this session had perhaps a leettle beet too much angst. So let me just say...
Take it to your head, take it to your heart and remember Rand rocks. Goodnight Folks!
5 months ago