Inside Outside and Inbetween

Hello, hello, and hello, all thee who read these words now, hi. Anyways, one of the problems with topical sessions is that I need to think up a topic. Now I do have a lot of thoughts buzzing around in my head in a maddening buzzing phenomenon, but summoning just a few good thoughts to expand into a session can be difficult, especially if I don't have enough time to take one of the ideas from way back in my head which deserves a long, big exposition. But I've delivered a few topical sessions and perhaps it is time to return to the topic of me, and by that I mean my thoughts and random digressions from those thoughts and by that I mean...well, nothing much in particular.

Let me recount some happenings in my life, now before you groan and moan, and I know who you are if you groan and moan, I have powers you know, I will be brief and limit the happenings to important matters worth talking about (of course anything having to do with me is worth talking about but I will try to be selective), if for no other reason than because I really do need to get some sleep soon. The most notable happening is that I have begun an internship at WRAT 95.9 The Rat , a nice little rock station if I do say so myself, and I do. In other matters, I am looking for a part-time job because I need money because the internship gives none (I am actually looking for alternative internships as well because this non-paying internship actually needs an 1 hr. and 1/2 car ride (if I'm not speeding, which I usually am, or was, since I'm going to cut down on that now that I have recieved a ticket for driving, oh, just a little fast (20 miles over the speed limit), and if I get another ticket, poof goes my liscence), which means it is actually costing me a decent amount of money in gas (of course it is really costing my father, but if it's costing him it makes me feel like a bum), also it is a rock radio station, which while very cool, is only tangentially related to my goal job of journalism), I also am working on a new Comikier comic, which should be done in a week or so, plus I might start making strip comics for Comikier (to check out Comikier and other great and grand things of Rand, the mighty and glorious, check out The World of Rand). I was ambivalent about this idea for a while. On the one hand, comic strips could be printed in a newspaper, say the Targum (the only newspaper which has any chance of publishing my comics since it has a quota of student-made comics to fulfill), on the other hand the full page a full page comic gives me gives a lot of options. I can experiment with form, I can do longer storylines without multiple comics, I can do extra designs in the margins, etc. However, it does have a limiting factor, the comic has to be long enough to justify a whole page. And while I do have a few ideas of comics long enough to justify a whole page, those ideas need a good deal of work before they are even drawable, delaying future comics for a while, and while I have a number ideas for multi-comic adventures, Comikier is still kind of new so I don't want to immediately expose people to that. The strip comic is restrictive in size and form, however, I have a lot of ideas for strip comics, and I actually can arrange several strips into a page if it makes me feel better (this would also give me an opportunity to throw in extra side material in the extra spaces that I might be uncomfortable putting into a whole page comic due to the prospect of distracting from the story (with the page already having several strips the idea of multiple features is already present and so wouldn't be too distracting). I still have to ink the newest comic page and then I'm going to start working on some strips, the first one will be a strip version of the first Comikier, and then I might do some random stuff, should be cool though.

That's where I am with Comikier. Amazingly enough, given that I do Comikier irregularly, I don't even have a legitimate webpage for it (just an extension of my, sigh, angelfire page), I don't have many Comikier comics, etc.,etc., Comikier is not the most pressing matter weighing on my head. What bothers me the most right now, is that I think I like a girl. Now this may not seem like news, but after two disasterous non-relationships (complicated matters which I have to tread delicately on to avoid offending the other parties), I have been somewhat avoiding romantic matters. Overall, I've never dated, but while in high school that was because of well, the non-relationships, well, it's complicated, in college the matter was because of fear and ackwardness most of all. Now there have been girls I was more than average attracted to and at least one with whom I made a clumsy attempt at asking out (I may have been rejected there, I might not have, I'm really kind of uncertain), but the emotion I'm feeling right now is stronger than that, although far, far weaker than love, although it has potential, for what... I'm not sure. Perhaps that's what bothers me more than the other feels I've had for other girls is the potential I'm feeling (although, then again... I'd rather not go through the exactitiudes of my romantic history right now, maybe later).

Now how to deal with this, that's the rub. Ask her out you might be thinking, well, duh, of course, but that's not going to happen. At least not immediately, maybe after a while as I get a little bit more comfortable with these feelings, or maybe I'll just delay the whole thing until the girl slips out of my reach. I don't know. Well, I know what I should do, but asking a girl that I like out on a date is an awful large leap from my normal behavior (actually not as much as it seems since I'm really not that ackward around girls nowadays, and this girl is a friend), and inertia has always been a powerful force for me. So stay tuned to find out (unless circumstances recommend otherwise, I'll probably drop a note, perhaps just a sutle one, noting that I have gone out on a date).

That's about enough for now, so anyways, take it to your head, take it to your heart, and remember Rand rocks. Goodnight Folks!