Paper walls of ivory towers

I'm feeling a little bit off, a little bit tired, a little bit flat and out of it, I don't know, it's not something terribly serious though, but I'm Rand so I'm still awesome, so very awesome. Well, that's me.

But on the plus side I acutally feel like I'm somewhat in motion, making progress in my life. I'm nearing the end of my school year. I have an internship with a radio station and I might take an internship with Rush Holt in the Fall or Spring. And I'm trying to get a job now. What I'm aiming at is Princeton Review. It's not a great option because I'm no longer that interested in teaching and it seems only mildly intersting with pretty low-level subject matter, but it shouldn't be too bad for a part-time job. And I'll be working with high school students which should be easier than the little kids I supervised last summer, should be at least. It feels good to get into these programs because although there's more that I want to do and these programs aren't the perfect fit with me, they still are something and it's nice to have that something.

On of the biggest concerns I have with college is I never feel like I have anything to mark my progress, I just pass through another year, another cycle of tests and grades. It feels like I'm treading water, trapped in stillness. This is especially since what I do in college only matters for the degree I get, it has little ramification onto the larger world. That's probably why I'm steering away from the acadamia option. Yes, I could investigate history for a living, but that isn't enough I have to be producing something and yes I would be publishing papers but most of those papers would just be incremental increases in the historical field or dry academic stuff, and often to get to the level in the subject where I could actuall publish a paper I would have to exceed my interest in that subject. What I mean is although I might be interested in this idea or that in history, I'm rarely interested enough to want to write a research paper about it. I might want to think about it, think up new ways of looking at it, or maybe write a story about it, but when it comes down to the actual meat of academic work, the research, I don't think my interest is enough to make that work that appealing really.

So I'm going with journalism or at least that's the plan. Anyways, matters are calling me away from you my lovely, lovely, extremely bummy audiance so take it to your head, take it to your heart and remember Rand rocks. Goodnight Folks!