Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Low-key and lazy

So my last few sessions have been pretty high concept and they have done pretty well, but I think I'm going with to intersplice a little low-keyness here or there into my sessions for a variety reasons including putting casualness back into this casual forum and tiredness, stemming from reorganizing my life, from the strain of writing, and the exhaustion from thinking up all these excuses (really hard work really). This tiredness could explain the lack of sessions for the last few days or it could be the busy-ness of the last few days and computer problems and there is always laziness, sweet, sweet laziness.

I've been realizing though that if I want to get done what I want to get done in life I'm going to have to curtail my laziness a little (just a little). My psycologist has encouraged me in this and said I should develop discipline which is pretty true, I've always been kind of low on discipline. So what's my newest spruce up my life plan? Scheduling, exercise, radio, part-time job, more social-ness, etc. And of course writing. But right now much of this is in the background to my current dilemma, what to do with my career options.

As some loyal readers of my sessions might know (and there is perhaps one loyal reader of my sessions, the rest of you are bums and losers (logically since I'm so great anyone who doesn't read my blog is a loser)) I've been aiming at becoming a teacher, but I've been questioning that goal for a while, and lately my questioning has become more intense. I really don't have a great impulse towards becoming a teacher is perhaps the biggest problem. It is secure, decently paying, and I would be able to help people and teach them stuff, but I'm not sure whether I want daily that sort of mass social interaction, whether I want the repetitiveness, or whether I have much of a liking to a job. My experiences at summer camp were so-so, it was basically like your average job, I recently volunteered with some third graders and while that was somewhat fun, I found the mass social interaction tiring. But neither of those are exact copies of the experience of say high school or college teaching, so I'm still unsure whether to completely drop the idea or to embrace it, it's up in the air right now.

I have several other options. I recently did some calculating and I've figured out that with three semesters of intense studying I can get a second major in virtually any subject. A second major would open up a lot of options and could let me explore more career options but it be a large amount of work, and if it's something I'm not interested in it could be a large amount of annoying work. The easiest double major would be with math and my father wants me to go in that direction, largely because he wants me to become a successful professional with a secure high-paying job. His main arguement is that someday I'm going to have a family and so I need to get a good job, but really I don't think I need to make any sacrifices for a family I will only have in maybe 10 years especially when I have no debts (although there is a point that I might have to give my family some money at some point). I'm young and I think this gives me enough time to take some risks with my life before I really settle down (honestly, if I ever am able to). But that's his point. He has also suggested I do something with computer science since that was my planned major upon entering college and again it would give me job security and well pay.

That said, I'm ansy about those options, while I like math and computer science, I really don't like them that much and many of the advanced classes would probably be in the end too much work for not enough interst. On the other hand the jobs that accompany these majors would probably only moderately interesting, with perhaps intriguing problems but not engaging by nature (the exceptions to this would probably be game design, artificial intelligence work, or possibly other research). In addition, this doesn't exactly fit the vision of the active, travelling life I've envisioned for myself, but such visions cannot be set in stone.

The option that has gotten me most interested recently is journalism. It would engage my interest in news, it would allow me to write, hopefully it would let me travel, and it would give me a very active life. However, if I actually wanted to get a journalism degree I'd need to take a whole lot of classes. In addition, my exposure to the world of journalism has been minimal so far, so I might be leaping to conclusions with my affection for it.

Then there is politics. There is always politics. What a career in politics means exactly, however, I'm not really sure, but there is a sort of charm to politics for me, if for no other reason than it promises to deliver the power I've lusted after all my life.

So what to do? Analysis, internships, weighing factors, etc. I hate making choices like this because it inevitably makes certain paths in life harder to follow if not closing them off altogether. Futhermore it brings me closer to actual responsibility, which is frightening. Finally, if I am to arrive at a firm conclusion about my options I'm going to have to work, do activities, meet with professors, go to career services, do internships, all things I am reluctant and or scared to do. However, if I am to be in any way satisfied with my life, such work must be done. In the end it takes discipline, determination, and not a little bit of glory (which your old friend Rand here has in abundance), and so it must be done. I must choose a path wisely, do it foolishly, or avoid doing it and end up shoved into a path, I think of all the options the first just might be the best, and so I've got to take care of business and work over time, work out.

Anyways, that was a lot of rambling, so I think I should wrap things up. Take it to your head, take it to your heart, and remember Rand rocks. Goodnight Folks!

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