I see the future and I see enthropy

Philip K. Dick is an amazing author. Weird though. He wrote a nice little novel called the Martian Time Slip about autitstic kids who see into the future but the reason why they have such trouble interacting with normal people is they see the decay that all things, including all people become. Lately, history has seemed to me more and more like a force of chaos rather than a force of progress. And so what of it?

Basically there is this drive within me, and I think I'm not the only one in this respect, to be on the winning side of history. And if the winning side is enthropy than I want to be on the side enthropy.

What is on the side of enthropy? Not necessarily destruction, because that requires a bit of passion to motivate it and the act of becoming passionate is in itself almost an act of creation. Rather it is pure apathy.

I know God is out there, I know that the truth exists, I know that right and wrong exist. I know these things.

And yet I cannot see anything beyond chaos in history, and inevitably without any force opposing it chaos will yield to decay. And maybe that doesn't matter. Maybe it doesn't matter that decay might overtake the human race one day (if Judgement Day doesn't come sooner (I think that's one of the factors that makes it so attractive to fix a time to Judgement Day, a certainty that if we can just make it to this day or that day thing will end up alrgiht, but in the end we don't have a fixed date, least not according to the Bible)), maybe it doesn't matter if decay overtakes the legacy of my life. Maybe it's ok if I'm not on the side of history. In fact I know it's ok.

It's alright to defy history. It's ok to fight for lost causes.

But I feel like it's not ok, I feel like if history favors enthropy than I must embrace apathy just so I can be on the winning team.

That's why I increasingly have realized that I have to be careful in trusting my feelings. Ultimately you always start out with your feelings, you pick a certain worldview because it seems right, but once you get that you must temper the worldview you picked on instinct with reason, cutting away the contradictions, refining it, so that you can reach ever more towards the truth... even if truth in this life is perhaps just another lost cause.

So anyways, take it to your head, take it to your heart, and remember Rand rocks. Goodnight Folks!