Monday, April 30, 2007


I'm nearing the end of my college career. In a couple weeks my junior year will be over, and so now I am selecting my classes for my second to last semester. As I'm looking over my choices I can't help but feel a little regret. Despite Rutgers amazing Philosophy department I have not taken a philosophy course, despite my interest in politics I've only taken one politics course, despite my interest in religion I've taken no religion courses. We all have our buyers regret. But when I think harder about this I realize, so what? Can't I just learn this stuff on my own? Yes, having professors explain things makes learning easier but it's not impossible for me to simply research stuff on my own. But then I look back on my recent history and I find my record of learning stuff on my own is rather shoddy. When I was an elementry school and middle school student I used to research random topics I just had some interest in, but nowadays... Nowadays it seems like I've forgotten how to learn on my own. Sure I look through wikipedia but that's not real reasearch. Probably this is because when I was younger I found reading something that came easy and natural to me, now in my life I find that I seem to avoid books out of this sneaking suspicion that either my disease or medication will make it impossible to read, even though when I do read I find it usually not problematic. But this problem seems to loop back to one of my bigger problems a lack of discipline. I need to learn to force myself to do the stuff I want to do but am afraid to do. Maybe a key to learning again is to set aside some time in my schedule for educational reading, if I finally do make myself a schedule. I don't like the idea of schedules, it always seemed too confining, but it might be very helpful, and maybe all I need is a loose outline of the day. Whatever. That's enough whining. Let's dance.

Well, you can't tell but I'm not dancing because this is not the time or the place for me to dance, but feel free to dance if you feel like it. Anyways, I'm working on the 3rd Comikier comic and I'm preparing to do a bunch more random stuff, so stay tuned to the show that never ends (actually it will end when I die most likely, I mean there's that possiblity I could pass the mantle of Rand to someone else, but as it seems now that seems not the case) the Rand show.

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