And in the stone temple like a pilot I will light a fire

If you can't tell (ie if you have no taste in music and are a bum, yeah I'm talking to you Frank, don't make me come down there!), this is a reference to the most excellent Stone Temple Pilots Song Creep and take a view of the lyrics here

And am I?

Lighting a fire, don't mind if I do...

And while the arson charges are being dealt with...

Anywho, yeah, I am feeling a bit uninspired. It's happened before and it'll happen again, these things happen, that doesn't mean it doesn't suck.

In fact it really sucks.

In fact it really sucks combined with other issues in my life which I could at least pretend were inspiring.

But now I can't.

Which sucks.

Dude...lame...

In the end, the cure to any writer's block is at its core drilling through it through perseverance. But it's drilling with your brain. That's not pleasant. (As Barton Fink can attest to).

I'm tempted to just put all my troubles on my romantic frustrations. But that's silly. Yes, I am only at full potential when in love, fueled by a muse I am more capable at almost every aspect of my life. But there have been plenty of times when I've not been in love and still been plenty creative.

And then there's the one ever present eternal love of my life, God. Endlessly, perfectly loving.

If my life is not complete without a muse (and that's a big if, but it's something I'm starting to suspect is true, which isn't so dramatic, after all it just means I'd like to get married someday), my life does not begin without God. And even in my worst writer's block, I can still turn to God and find inspiration...

Bits of it at least, though that's still a gift, and I know that this is probably just a lean time. Yet it's still frustrating. And perhaps that frustration too will become inspiration but...

...but sometimes instead of struggling to figure out what to write, I'd rather just light a fire.

But that ain't an option, because I'm doing the Lord's work, and that means I got to carry my cross, but God's at my side, so that means it's not so bad really.

I just forget sometimes and lose myself in that frustration, but stepping back, it's really not so bad... I suppose I just wish it were better... especially as the ghosts remind me of the best I ever had... not really sure what that means in my case, but it all reminds me of melancholy things, but also that in the end I'm pretty lucky all and all.

In the end, if God's with you, it's never that bad, and He's always with you.

So take it to your head, take it to your heart and remember Rand rocks. Goodnight Folks!

And God Bless.

Damn it didn't I tell you to Ultra-Relax!

I'm tempted time from time, moment from moment, to worry and think about what people think about me, whether or not I'm normal, whether or not I fit in and all that jazz (all that rotten jazz, rotten apple eating mean non-funky jazz monkey, etc. et al., and so on). But then I remember, always, always, tooooooooooooooooooooooooo

ULTRA-RELAX

Go Kodocha!

And here's the lyrics, via Naokochan (the notes are via spontaneous awesomeness)

Plenty of free time today and tomorrow
(oh so much time, got to webinate the web, but when you gotta be cool, you can find time to cool it up and cool it down)
Taking an overnight trip by the four of my family
(Because my family is awesome, they just are)
Seeing Sphinx with an Egyptian air
(Because more history=more better)
Seeing Texas with an American feeling!
(USA rules!!! But as nice as Texas is, Jersey rocks!!!)
Just be as cool as a cucumber
(mmmm, cucumber)
And laidback all the time
Then bugs in your stomach bugging you
Will just go off!
(those bugs (or maybe they're worms...) might be tempting, but just remember, ain't no bugs in this world that are really worth worrying about... after all, if God's with me, all the world's just a bitty bug ain't it?)
I'm ultra-relaxed
Gracefully, unbeatably relaxed
(Soooo relaxed, though my acid reflux, occasional breakdowns, frequent insomnia might argue different...)
Just a little bit different deluxe
Scatterbrained but...
(Scatterbrained who...something, something, scatterbraininess)
When you call me, "pah pah pah pahng"!
(That's my other name)
I'm always relaxed
Wabi-sabi-seasoned deluxe
(Because nothing's as relaxing as wasabi. Take it with some hot sauce to cool the tempers)
Bright! Clear! -Headed!
Brainy! Pitt! Pitt!
Watch no one but me!
(Because I'm awesome, and though I stress out over everything, but when push gets to pushy, I do become ULTRARELAX!!!)

Oh yeah!

So take it to your head, take it to your heart and remember Rand rocks. Goodnight Folks!

And God Bless.

I think there is a point here that you are missing

In my humble opinion it is this:

I'm not listening!

Many may at first suspect me the anti-punk. I am generally respectful others, highly religious, have a good relationship with my various family members, observant of many traditions, politically eclectic but with a tendency toward what could be said to be conservatism.

But hell, when you say "I'm not going to fall in line/become another casualty of comformity", damn it, then I got to jump in the mosh pit (metaphorically, since I don't get out to concerts that often and usually get enough unnecessary touchy-feely time with strangers from the PATH trains).

On the other hand maybe I'm just in love with that sense of power of being able to say the hell with it all... though I suppose I don't, but that sense...

But then again maybe it's just the music, because music is awesome, musically speaking.

So take it to your head, take it to your heart and remember Rand rocks. Goodnight Folks!

And God Bless.

When I get older... they'll call me freedom

Awesome, awesome song. I dunno, but I've been nervous about things. Writing this blog even for instance. And then time disappears and there I go without the time, or as in this case, with perhaps just a bit much on my mind. But so you don't go empty handed, here's a song+lyrics from a very impressive gentleman from Somalia named K'naan:

Waving Flag and here's the lyrics from a newly found most awesome lyric source: lyric-wiki

Space Oddity

It's been a while since I really made an effort to find good links for this blog, and the occasion did remind of why. Despite having found superb music videos on the interweb, checking for these videos for quality always ends up causing my session-writing time to go up by an order-of-magnitude. Oh, well, it's not like I have anything tomorrow, just work.

Well, here are the fruits of this particular labor:
A classic music video of Space Oddity by David Bowie
The music set to scenes of the amazing anime movie Royal Space Force: Wings of Honneamise.

To top it off here's the lyrics.

The thought came to my mind for so many, many reasons, top of which is BOWIE rocks!!! (The Guild of Calaminous Intent doesn't deserve such a man!)

But I was thinking about some matters, especially about professionalism (I can't believe the Simpsons "To Professionalism!" scene isn't on youtube yet (season 8, homer's enemy, after being told he ought to be more professional, Homer, sitting in him car about to drive to work in the morning, cries out "TO PROFESSIONALISM!" and pulls out a bottle of champaign and starts chugging it. Sooner or later, I got to try that out at my job.) And I had talked to someone who had recommended a professional relationship on a matter (as this vagueness might imply this is a rumination on a personal matter with a subject who may or may not be reading this post, and my rule of thumb is to not rule with my thumb and keep people anonymous most generally).

The essence of the matter and the thoughts which I consider interesting enough to outweigh the awkwardness of writing about this situation is that the implied opinion I got form this person was that professional relationships were important, and I could not help but find this inconceivably odd.

Now I am an odd man. There is a denying that, weighing my oddness against the general oddity of people in general, and one could also weigh it against how normal I might be if I applied myself. But I am comfortable in declaring myself odd overall. I think thoughts rarely thought, I do things in a manner rarely copied, and I in general have a certain tension between my way of living and the way of living common to the world around me, and by those measures I am odd. I've come to peace with that more or less, but it leaves me admittedly with little ground to call someone else odd.

Now the arguer on professional relationships is I think odd, all and all, but the opinion expressed was perhaps less odd than my own, and so perhaps that point can not be listed as a factor of oddity. The position that I have come to realize might be quite common but which I thought was odd at first, is that at work relationships should be restricted to professional relationships so you can do your work without distraction to the maximum of your potential. I have to say, that just seemed ridiculous.

But upon thinking of it, I think most people, or at least a lot of people, to a lesser or greater degree believe in these sort of professional relationships. Then perhaps I'm the odd-man out, but that's never been a fault for me.

In the end, I don't believe in professional relationships because, meh, work's work, it's really not important enough to infringe on relationships. I mean people's are peoples after all. Then there's the Christian aspect. I take a very idealized view of love, (platonic, familial, and romantic, etc.) and take this world and its haughty workings purposefully lightly. But perhaps I can understand how other people can take their work seriously, especially if this is the work that really touches on something central to their identity. Maybe, maybe perhaps if I were a professional writer...

Yet then again, I suppose I do have a profession. A jack-of-all-trades who philosophizes, wanders between communities, and dreams of dreams, I suppose my profession is ultimately living, best I can to do good and hopefully help others do good. Perhaps in that respect all my relationships are professional, I do after all keep my friends in my AIM co-workers section (an odd remark I do not deny), and I have to say I have a tendency to view a failed relationship or lost friendship as a failed project or venture. In a way I am almost sterile while looking at relationships, a fact I regret at times, immensely.

And so then, then when it comes to professionalism. Professionalism for me is friendship, best I can manage. Honestly when it comes to relationships, I can only target friendship or something more, although I can at times offer a completely false relationship that ignores the essential human essence of the other party, but as that sounds, it is distasteful, and something I inevitably regret.

If that makes me odd, well...

Let me not act superior, my life and the life of many around me would be much better if I did not take relationships so seriously and work so lightly, and maybe I'm wrong, I find upon reckoning that my emotions toward people are often more complex than I give them credit for, mingled with my own issues, preconceptions, circumstances and histories. In the end, I have to say that overall I treat relationships so simply and so idealistically is because I lack the talent and confidence to do otherwise, or maybe it just isn't who I am, with me being the sum of my nature and experiences. And in the end, I am what I am, and despite my own anxieties and self-doubt, I do not care to be anything else. Those words have been ringing in my head for a while now and I find here they seem appropriate. I can change to be more true to these ideals, to chase a more central goal, or to do the Lord's will, but not for a job, and for what else... (and where does my writerly and otherwise artistic intentions factor into all of this, I'm honestly not sure, but I think one necessarily feeds and follows the other)

The future's still open... and though I feel a bit lonely right now, I still believe in the ideals of family, friends, love and God... and God-willing I will be able to make good on those beliefs, in the end that's all I really need, as the man says, "Forget your lust for the rich mans gold/ All that you need is in your soul" (-Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd)

And be a simple kind of man. (That said song's music video)

(If there's anything that can make you feel good about all your moods, both good and bad, well there's lot's of things, but nothing quite like rocking with Lynyrd Skynyrd)

Anyways, take it to your head, take it to your heart and remember Rand rocks. Goodnight Folks!

And God Bless.

Because I am a ROCKET MAN...

That really is a great song, don't underestimate it, and it captures such a perfectly unique mood (lyrics to prove the claim, more or less). The rocket man, filled with superhuman power, stranded so far from home in a place, cold as hell, with a mix of optimism and pessimism, resignation and hope, he strides boldly into the long night, and it will take him a long, long time to get back. Kudos to you Elton John, Kudos.

Songs still burn

So everyone, just so you don't here any wild rumors, I'm being indited for fraud in Australia. (Well it was either me or Bart (Bart vs. Australia))

But even as that takes up my time, there are still some songs burning in my head and so I needed to eat cheese.

But I'm going to share the songs with you anyways.

Here's a nice one from the indescribably talented Yoko Kanno and the Seatbelts.

Call me, Call me from Cowboy Bebop - Episode 23 - Hard Luck Woman (Here's the complete song, but I like sequence from the show immensely).

It goes out to a girl who I really wish would call me, despite the fact that I don't dare call her.

But there is one love I do have, and that's God's love, and one of the best songs that expresses this is this one.

Alive - POD

But what's been bugging me for a while is why. Why does God love me? What is his purpose for me?

Why do you love me? - Garbage

But whatever the mysterious plans of God, I know He is at my side, thus I need not fear, and thus the world ought watch out for the might and glory of Rand, even if I seem to be an underdog right now.

The Underdog - Spoon

Ah, but I can't pretend I don't got troubles, though with God's help I'll overcome them, I just got to keep pushing on and light up in my brain whenever my brain threatens to turn dark (Okay that transition made no sense, but perhaps a little nonsense was necessary to break up the pretentiousness. Oh the pretentiousness!), or maybe I'll keep moving along (Okay that's just a horrible transition, but sometimes transitions need to just transist, and that still makes no sense).

Run - Snow Patrol
Move Along - All-American Rejects

And while that's not all the music in my soul, that's a good amount to tide you over, my dear, dear readers, so take it to your head, take it to your heart, and remember Rand rocks. Goodnight Folks!

And God Bless!

Highly distractible, but nigh industructable

While the latter may or may not be true (time will tell if I am nigh industructable), I certainly am highly distractible, especially when I'm in still a semi-vacationish mode. In fact I'm right now more distractible than I was while I was in full-vactionish mode. Alac, Alac, Alac.

So anyways:

Here's some tunes:

LISTEN!!!!

1. Devil's Haircut - Beck - From the album Odelay - Weird, weird, weird song. The free association lyrics, the nonsensical constant refrain, it's all madness really it is, and I truly doubt there's a straight forward understanding one's supposed to get from all of it (although there are claims of a straight forward meaning to it on the internet, even one by Bob Dylan, but even if Beck were to tell me himself, I'd be like dude, whatever it's supposed to say, it's not saying that in a fashion that anyone should be expected to directly understand). But if I were to guess, and I am inclined to, I'd probably say it's all madness. The lyrics recite a list of crazy bad (eyes ripped from sockets!) stuff happening with the repeated line my mind is fadin', but the tone is all detached, not quite cheerfully so but with a bit of almost amusement, maybe fascination or interest. Then at the end you get an intensity to the voice and something like rage but perhaps more akin to adrenaline rush. Maybe it's all just madness. Least that's how I'm thinkin' of it.

Lyrics

Beck's Music Video - Beck's not one to shy away from the weird is he?

Devil's Haircut AMV - tv show : The Tick - Made by (since making good AMV's takes good work, I've decided to start crediting the AMV makers, in this case an outfit called:) Brilliantwerk (the guy seems to be in a lot of online communities, although I checked the website at the end of the video and that goes no where (the link here goes to his (or could be her) youTube site)) - Now really the whole reason I took this song is because I found this AMV and since I'm using in my title nigh industructable I had to include some Tickige. But the song and the video are actually a really nice match since both are slightly off-kilter in a weird direction. Moreover, by starting and ending with the bomber dude, the video manages to match the tone of the song which isn't quite as cheery as the Tick himself and his cry of "Spoooooooon!"

2. Parallel Universe - Red Hot Chili Peppers - From the album Californication - Some semi-Transendentalist mystic mombo-jumbo (also see the mention of Oversoul in By the Way) + rockin' triumphantcy + Red Hot Chili Peppers = Awesome, awesome song. Few songs are this intense and this triumphant. That made it easy to tweak into my own version which I called Dravidian King, as a song it might be less than great, but as a webpost session it has the spontaneity, emotionalism, etc., let's not go into webpost theory right now, let's not go into music theory right now either, let's just rock out with the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Lyrics - For a long time I didn't realize it was California King, I don't remember what I thought it was, but California King is that lyric that's just spit out full force in the refrain, and we all know California likes to rock triumphant

Red Hot Chili Peppers Concert Video - There's no music video for this song, but this is a pretty nice concert video, all the way from the good folk in Brazil.

Parallel Universe AMV - anime : Kiddy Grade - Made by Charles Fontillas - I'm not a big fan of the anime Kiddy Grade, but this AMV is pretty awesome. It's as energized, colorful, and full of life as the song, plus it even captures the Red Hot Chili Peppers psychedelic flavors. The characters are nicely trotted out but not idolized or fan-serviced, the action is brisk but does not detract from the song, etc., overall very great. A nice comparison would be to another AMV of Parallel Universe, this one made with Gunslinger Girl (an anime I haven't seen much of, but which seems pretentious). The second AMV isn't bad but it isn't as good as the first, the whole video is too static, both in subject and shot, and even when there is action, the scene itself is focused on, dragged down the momentum of the video. Admittedly I might think this way due to my biases towards Gunslinger Girl, but then again I'm no fan of Kiddy Grade, then again... then again, it's time to move on to our next contender (for no prize, title or position what-so-ever!!!! (Wooo, what-so-ever!!!!)).

3. Bad Reputation - by Thin Lizzy, but covered more famously by Joan Jett - From the album Bad Reputation - This is a punk shout, so I'm not going into much detail about it. Especially since I did go into more detail about it before in a previous session. So let me just say:

I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT MY BAD REPUTATION!!!!!!!!!!!

Here are the Lyrics

Here's Joan Jett's Music Video.

And here's an AMV of Bad Reputation using for the anime the 3rd Series of Digimon focusing on everyone's favorite bad-asses Rika and Renamon (made more subject-worthy by the fact Rika, despite loving her bad-assness, was worried about her mother's reaction for parts of the series). Digimon rules!!!!! (actually I wasn't thrilled with the 4th series and I haven't seen the 5th one, and the 2nd one, while good wasn't as good as the 1st or the 3rd ones.)

Just to cap things off to an off-form entry, let me point you towards the intro credits of Freaks and Geeks which featured Bad Reputation, since Freaks and Geeks was awesome.

4. Saturday Night's Alright - by Elton John - From the album Goodbye Yellow Brick Road - You know when you look at craftsmanship, some of these older rockers who now have turned into adult contemporary staples, used to be real rock craftsmen. Now I'm all for raw power, but there's also something to be said for craftsmanship, and Mr. Elton John says it well.

Lyrics

A concert video with Elton John

Saturday Night's Alright AMV - (note: the song here is actually covered by Nickleback and Kid Rock)- anime : Love Hina - Made by CrashOverRide83m - A splendid little AMV I must say. Fast as the wind through the lyrics, nice imagery, over-the-top action on the video front to match the over-the-top energy in the song as well as the exuberant embrace of fighting, also nice that the fan-service implications of Love Hina play well with the date connotations of Saturday Night. So overall, a well crafted piece, Mr. Elton John could have probably done better, but that doesn't detract from the fact that this AMV was done very well.

So usually I do 5 songs, but usually I'm not this tired, and even usually the 5th song gets a little bit of the shaft when I'm writing it up and everything. So for now I'm only doing 4 songs, and I might actually make that a new policy. Perhaps. PERHAPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So anyways, take it to your head, take it to your heart and remember Rand rocks. Goodnight Folks!

And God Bless.