If you can't tell (ie if you have no taste in music and are a bum, yeah I'm talking to you Frank, don't make me come down there!), this is a reference to the most excellent Stone Temple Pilots Song Creep and take a view of the lyrics here
And am I?
Lighting a fire, don't mind if I do...
And while the arson charges are being dealt with...
Anywho, yeah, I am feeling a bit uninspired. It's happened before and it'll happen again, these things happen, that doesn't mean it doesn't suck.
In fact it really sucks.
In fact it really sucks combined with other issues in my life which I could at least pretend were inspiring.
But now I can't.
In the end, the cure to any writer's block is at its core drilling through it through perseverance. But it's drilling with your brain. That's not pleasant. (As Barton Fink can attest to).
I'm tempted to just put all my troubles on my romantic frustrations. But that's silly. Yes, I am only at full potential when in love, fueled by a muse I am more capable at almost every aspect of my life. But there have been plenty of times when I've not been in love and still been plenty creative.
And then there's the one ever present eternal love of my life, God. Endlessly, perfectly loving.
If my life is not complete without a muse (and that's a big if, but it's something I'm starting to suspect is true, which isn't so dramatic, after all it just means I'd like to get married someday), my life does not begin without God. And even in my worst writer's block, I can still turn to God and find inspiration...
Bits of it at least, though that's still a gift, and I know that this is probably just a lean time. Yet it's still frustrating. And perhaps that frustration too will become inspiration but...
...but sometimes instead of struggling to figure out what to write, I'd rather just light a fire.
But that ain't an option, because I'm doing the Lord's work, and that means I got to carry my cross, but God's at my side, so that means it's not so bad really.
I just forget sometimes and lose myself in that frustration, but stepping back, it's really not so bad... I suppose I just wish it were better... especially as the ghosts remind me of the best I ever had... not really sure what that means in my case, but it all reminds me of melancholy things, but also that in the end I'm pretty lucky all and all.
In the end, if God's with you, it's never that bad, and He's always with you.
So take it to your head, take it to your heart and remember Rand rocks. Goodnight Folks!
And God Bless.
4 months ago