You know this guy, I love this guy, I really do

You know with TV shows have several multiple plot centers, especially when there's an ensemble cast of all-cool, all-awesome characters. But sometimes you're just in a mood for one plot center, and you're like, hmmm, how do I get through these lists of episode names to get to the plot center I want. And so I feel like that at times. And so I thought I might even things out for myself and for all other Cowboy Bebop fans out there:

So let me break down some plot centers, etc.:
(story-line are episodes having to do with the character's central personal back-story, semi-storyline are episodes that have some lasting significance or that reveal some minor back-story element, and then there's just non-storyline episodes)

Ensemble episodes: 2. Stray Dog Strut, 4. Gateway Shuffle, 7. Heavy Metal Queen, 11. Toys in the Attic, 14. Bohemian Rhapsody, 23. Brain Scratch

Jet-centric episodes:
Storyline: 10. Ganymede Elegy, 16. Black Dog Serenade
Semi-storyline: Boogie Woogie Feng Shui

Edward-centric episodes:
Storyline: 24. Hard Luck Woman
Semi-storyline: 9. Jamming with Edward
Non-storyline: 17. Mushroom Samba

Faye-centric episodes:
Storyline: 15. My Funny Valentine, 18. Speak Like A Child, 24. Hard Luck Woman
Semi-Storyline: 3. Honky-Tonk Woman, 12.,13. Jupiter Jazz (two parts)

Spike-centric episodes:
Storyline: 5. Ballad of Fallen Angels, 12,13. Jupiter Jazz (two parts), 25.,26. The Real Folk Blues
Semi-Storyline: 1. Asteroid Blues, 19. Wild Horses, The Movie - Knocking on Heaven's Door
Non-storyline: 6. Sympathy for the Devil, 8. Waltz for Venus, 20. Pierre Le Fou, 22. Cowboy Funk

Some might dispute my divisions, but in the end, those people aren't as cool as me.

So take it to your head take it to your heart and remember Rand rocks. Goodnight Folks!

The End of Empires and other such tales

One question that always raises curiosity in my all-too-curious brain is why/how do empires rise and why/how do empires end?

Since this is a topic that can be gone on endlessly, I shall go on endlessly about it, but given my limited time constraints, I will pace myself.

Let's look at one, most particular example of the fall of empires, at the World War I, 4 empires: The German Empire, The Russian Empire, The Austro-Hungarian Empire, and The Ottoman Empire collapsed.

Was it do to the war? Maybe, there's a lot of evidence both ways. Since I'm obliged by class to write an essay on the topic in regards to the Russian Empire (likely I will at least), I'll try to share my insights on that.

Throwing out some context info: While those 4 empires fell at the end of WWI, this was the height of imperial empires, and the world's second largest empire fell before WWI: The Qing Chinese Empire started its collapse in 1911, although after effects of WWI ended up contributing to the chaos, its collapse could not be do to WWI which only started 1914.

But let's just briefly (very briefly do to time, and not enough analysis done/looked up on the topic) look at some compare and contrasts between the 4 WWI end of empire scenarios (starting with the German Empire, and I'll fill in the others tomorrow/later):

German Empire:

This empire came closest and might even qualify as a nation-state rather than an empire, however, the ruling ideology was still imperial, with ultimate power and the source of power in the monarch's hands. Also, the German Empire had a large minority of Poles and some other assorted Slavs, as well as a smaller minority of Danes.

It was also a colonial empire, with colonies in the Pacific (throughout but most notably in New Guinea), SW Africa (now Nambia), W. Africa (Togo, part of Ghana, and Cameroon), C. Africa (Rwanda and Burundi) and E. Africa (now Tanzania (excluding Zanzibar)). There were also colonial spheres of influence in China, and semi-colonial partnerships in the Balkans (Bulgaria and the Ottoman Empire).

It collapsed into a mess:
The Polish portion and a corridor of majority German territory leading to the sea became part of Poland. Denmark took the Dane-majority portion, although there was still a tiny Danish minority. Still compared to the dismemberment of the Austro-Hungarian, Ottoman, and Russian empires after WWI, this was smaller scale.

The German portion was taken over by the Social Democrats. A more radical uprising is put down by returning soldiers (in contrast to the Russian situation where the returning soldiers help carry out the revolution). Briefly a Communist state is established in Bavaria but this too is put down by the returning soldiers.

The fact that many Germans had been left out of the new state (although many Germans had been left out of Germany from its start), helped fuel the dream of reconquest, helping to bolster extreme nationalism.

In terms of human loss, cultural dislocation, and economic damage, Germany was immensely ruined after WWI.

That's a short snap-shot of the fall of the German Empire.

Why did it fall? That's another story for some time that is not now.

Why plan when you can scheme?

Let me make a pitch for programming in scheme for math purposes.

Why is Scheme good for programming numerical methods and other math brick and brack?

Because it is so gloriously insane!

Scheme is a language without local variables, without control structures, without global constants, it uses reverse-Polish notation (those crazy Poles!) run usually by an interpreter... basically to the layman, let me say that it makes no sense.

But the advantage to Scheme is it fits very well with the idea of constructing logical algorithms and basing your math around that. Scheme strips algorithms down to their basic components, the procedures, and doesn't allow you to go any further than that. There's a ruthlessness to this restriction and enough power in this limited space that you end up being able to do a lot of math stuff simply and in a manner which illuminates the heart of the algorithm.

But it remains insane.

That said here's a good Scheme implementation:

Dr. Scheme

And here's a good guide to the language (note the implementation and this guide are not related, so some aspects of the guide may not work with this implementation):

The Scheme Programming Language by Kent Dybvig

Now I don't want this math blog to go all computer sciency, but it must be admitted that comp. sci. has some math overlap, especially when it comes to doing programming to make math easier. So look out in the future for some bursts of code for math-based functions, most likely in Scheme.

Keep on Scheming!

And what of the Oriental in America?

My deep apologies for my absence for so long, especially given the youthful state of this blog, but matters prompt me to here and there and everywhere.

So I'm not going to be able to make this session as deep as I'd like, so maybe I'll revisit later, but since I mentioned Orientalism in my last session, I thought I might discuss it a little more. To be exact I wanted to discuss Orientalism in light of the fact that I am of Indian heritage and thus, if Orientalism is as prevalent as Said claims, I am looked up by the West as an Oriental.

I am certainly not an Oriental in the same sense Said is. The Arab world, in particular the Palestinian world, is very different than the Indian world, in particular the Malayali world (although there are some claims that Malayalis, including myself have a little Syrian blood in them). But Orientalism, as a perspective, doesn't make such distinctions. So therefore, a country like America, steeped deeply in the European academic traditions, should view me primarily as an Oriental, correct?

I can't say I've ever experienced that. Well, no, I have experienced moments where I've seen Indians and myself treated as generic Orientals. One particular example I like to harp on is the McDonald's Asian Chicken Salad commercial. It basically talked about how the "Asian-ness" of the salad gave you some culinary Nirvana. Obviously the commecial was joking around and I don't pretend otherwise. And while I could see how Buddhists could be offended by the causal throwing around of a sacred concept like Nirvana, Christian concepts like heaven and hell are tossed around in American media with little respect too. What annoyed me though, which might be a little over-reacting, was that it perpetuated the same myth of Asians being inherently mystical, especially in a special "Eastern" way. I find that ridiculous. I know plenty of Asians without a lick of mysticism too them, and while I admit that India has a great spiritual heritage, it is a country and Indians are a people not just some materialization of that spiritual heritage.

Yet such slights always seemed to me minor. Annoying perhaps, offensive perhaps, but not an essentially harmful part of my life. Overall, while my brown-ness was recognized I was not treated any what specially and the label of Oriental did not haunt me.

I am and was, through most of my life, treated as an American.

Perhaps Professor Said had something to do with this, do to the impact of his book. Maybe.

But then there's the other side of the coin, my internal impression of myself. That's a little bit more complicated. One factor that has to enter the mix at some point is that I was raised in a middle-class suburban environment which was largely white. Those who weren't white tended to be lower down on the income ladder. So there was a sort of internal tension between my identity as part of this middle-class American group that was mostly white, and my familial and ethnic identity as an Indian. For example, sometimes I would forget that I was brown and start thinking of myself as white because I associated with the American majority and the American majority was always depicted as white.

If this sounds like a deep psychological issue, I suppose it could be. But its not really. I have over time come to think of myself more and more certainly as Indian and Malayali in an ethnic sense, but more and more I have fixed an identity as American. The internal tension has been lessened by clarifying in my mind what my heritage and my nationality really means to me. My heritage is a shaping force through my history and a network of bonds that links me back in time and across space to others of my historic background. My nationality is a matter of affection, it is not exactly rational but it comes down to a feeling of attachment, identity and love. Clarifying these concepts the internal tension between me as brown and me as a middle-class American has lessened. Has it gone away? Not entirely. Since I remember it and occasionally worry about it, it can never fully remove itself from my mind, but it doesn't concern me much. To be truthful it never concerned me a lot, but in the past it would send spikes of confusion into my mind every now and then, and that is less so the case now.

So I know myself as Indian ethnically but American in nationality. No where there is Oriental. Occasionally I have seen sparks of Orientalism in American culture, but my overall treatment has been as an American and I have accepted that place. Perhaps my view point on these matters is shaded by the fact that I am not a racial essentialist, but race, while an important concept, is just one of many concepts that can add to a person's identity to him/herself and to that person's identity to the outside world. And those two identities need not match.

But the question must come up, fine I feel both like an Indian and an American, but am I right to feel that way? Well, that essentially is a moral question. I can say I'm happy generally, and I find satisfaction in my life, but I'll admit I find my life less invested in my ethnicity than some (notably my parents) might like, and I find my mind filled with paradigms foreign to my ancestors. I am less attached to my heritage than I would be say if I identified myself nationally as Indian, or if I felt that the flashes of Orientalism I find occasionally define the way I have been treated growing up. Yet while I'd like to preserve as much of my heritage as I can, I'm not obsessed with it, and I feel in terms of values, customs, etc., my preferences and internal philosophical debate must come first before adhering to my heritage. Has that view been shaped by culture? Yes. Does that make it less true? Well according to that view, no. There's a moral question of whether putting my own personal ideas before my cultures views is right, but that can't be simply a matter of history, science, or cultural analysis. So are my views on national/ethnic identity correct? I'd say yes, but others might legitimately disagree.

This whole matter may seem like a digression from history. It is. More than a matter of history, what I have written here is a matter of personal introspection. But even that is shaped by history, and my personal perspective undoubtedly shapes my historical perspective. So excuse this indulgence. I simply thought given the fame of Said's story, I'd present the life of another who might be called Oriental in America.

Can't Stop, Addicted to... THE RAND SHOW!!!

By the way (couldn't resist putting a link to the music video for that one") Can't Stop is a pretty awesome song (and here's the music video for Can't Stop). As a general rule: RED HOT CHILLI PEPPERS ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now to the meat of the matter. If you've been attentive dear readers you might have noticed that my posting of late has been pretty crappy. Well, that's largely because I've been feeling pretty crappy. Yesterday, in particular was a very bad day. But by the end of the day I was able to revive with a little help from a friend in a high place. (I'm talking about God if you didn't get that (here's the verse from the Bible about Jesus calling us friends, not slaves)). However, the effect of that matter has been a couple fold.

First of all, it has reminded me that I am not well, and that I need to remember to utilize all my resources for help (if anyone, particularly any Christian Scientists in the crowd, find a contradiction between me having God help me deal with my health problems, but also relying on medicine and therapy, well, I'd like to just say, God creates these means for helping His children, if we are good kids, we'll use that help). Mainly I need to see my psych. resources. Also, I need to establish a good consistent contact with my friends. Also, it wouldn't hurt to do a little romantic exploration. More and more, although I know I have God at my side, and I know I have good friends, and I know that I have a sense of mission in life, I am becoming more certain that I'd like to have a woman to share my life with. But that is a long quest and should not be seen as a quick fix by any means.

Secondly, I have realized that I have been taking on too much of late. Now I have certain core responsibilities which I can't skimp on or which I could skimp on but I'd really hate to do so. Those are:

Church of course, but despite what some might say, that obligation is not heavy;

School, I want to graduate by the end of the semester and I want to try for some nice grades, although with my current grade point average I can stand a few B's, and it is also a possibility to take one less course and finish things during the summer.

WRSU, I really like the radio station, and it helps me with my future career plans.

My Church group, MCYM NJ chapter (here's the website I made for them), I never really wanted to be president of the group, but I find that there's a lot of good stuff I can do with them as president with not too much effort.

ICF, the Indian Christian Fellowship, I neglected it last semester and they're really good folk who I'd like to establish good friendships with.

My normal social contacts: poker, having occasional contacts, and maybe trying out some romantic leads.

But I got to say some things I need to trim a little, as the stuff above is a pretty full plate. While I want to put some effort into a job search, I can't stress myself out too much about it. I'd like to expand my social portfolio, but I don't have time for as much party planning as I'd like. I have a whole lot of side projects, but I got to remember to keep them on the side. Also, there are a lot of nice stuff to do around Rutgers, but I got to limit the activities I do to what I can handle.

So the question arises: Why keep up with the Rand Show?

Well, the answer is this: The Rand Show is mine. It's my work, it's good work, and it's something where I feel myself keeping up with my creative side and driving myself forward.

Part of the problem with the crappiness I've been feeling lately is that I've been running constantly from one obligation to another. Inevitably I've messed up with some of those, but more importantly, I've lost some control of my life. Given the fact that my life isn't really chasing my dreams right now, losing control and losing the time for the outlets of my creativity made me feel like my life was useless, pathetic, and no longer belonged to me. That's crap really, I mean I chose my obligations and I chose to abide by them, but I think for the health of my soul and mind I need to have some control over things and I need to be creative.

And so I can't stop The Rand Show. Don't you feel fortunate?

Anyways, while I have to dial back my obligations a little, that doesn't mean I'm discarding them. A lot of times when I have said "I need to relax more," I basically stopped doing anything. But I do have obligations that I want to or have to abide by and to stop doing them would just be counter-productive and stupid. Being too scared to do what I need to do is also a loss of control. So what I'm building up to here is...

I need to go. I'm having lunch with my little sis, because one of the obligations that I desperately want to abide by is my obligation to be a good family member. So I need to be off, but remember I SHALL RETURN (like MacArthur I take those words seriously).

Anywho, take it to your head, take it to your heart and remember Rand rocks. Goodnight Folks!

Don't Do as Donny Don't Does

Back in the day for each of these random phrases I could easily point you to a youTube clip. But apparently the media companies like making money off their media, because otherwise you know their entire business model is bankrupt.

But I'll get into that upon a latter hour.

Alas, of late I'm feeling like our poor misunderstood Donny Don't.

Despite my noble claims of having discovered the secret of time management, I find myself with my schedulization less than ideal.

Perhaps truly the problem is too many commitments: School, 2+ clubs, unknowing being elected MCYM NJ president, work, etc. Everything keepin' me busy and busy and busy.

But really, truly is the matter that simple?

I dunno.

Perhaps the greater matter is my fear is eating up time when I could be working, or maybe I'm just making a big deal out of everything.

Whichever, got to go.

So take it to your head, take it to your heart and remember Rand rocks. Goodnight Folks!

Time to go down to the ground where the Buffulo Roam

So I am utterly, totally, tired.
So I was thinking about doing a music/AMV session.
But I'm even more tired than that would imply.
And I'm a bum.
So instead I'm going to a VJ thing and give some videos without really giving reviews, except maybe some random chatter.
So but for future reference, all these songs and videos rock.
They really do.
So...
KICK IT!!!

Beastie Boys - Fight for Your Right to Party

So I know I actually used this in one of my AMV sessions (Beastin' it up with the Boys)
But I'm a lazy bum. Besides why should I worry about a silly little thing like that, after all, my future's so bright, I'm going to have to wear shades.

Timbuk3-The Future's So Bright

So you happy now? If not at least you should be feeling glad.

Gorillaz-Clint Eastwood

Well, it's very nice to have sunshine in a bag, but I'd rather have an atom bomb!

Fluke - Atom Bomb - AMV with Ghost in the Shell: 2nd Gig

Man, I love a woman who knows her way around a gun. (You try making sex puns when you're very tired, actually you probably shouldn't, if you succeed it'll just make me feel bad, mwaaah!!!) But the thing about all that firepower is you got to watch out, the heat can give you away in Infrared.

Placebo - Infrared

But if you're in the infrared you must be pretty damn hot, maybe even down in hell after dealing with the Devil.

The Charlie Daniels Band - The Devil Went Down to George - AMV with Futurama

And if the Devil did get your soul, well then he'd have the best of you.

Foo Fighters - Best of You

(This is another song I've used before, several times in fact, most notably here)
But maybe deep down, it's not a problem with your soul. Maybe you're just not as cool as me. Hey, it happens. Some of us are awesome and brown, and then some are just white and nerdy.

Weird Al - White and Nerdy

However, even if you're white and nerdy (or even if you're black and hip) you can still be a rockstar.

N*E*R*D - Rockstar

Case in point for white and nerdy rockstars...

Weezer - Buddy Holly

Yep, when those boys are dissing your girl, because in the end all that matters is what's in your heart.
And on a 99% unrelated note...
Bon Jovi - You Give Love a Bad Name - AMV with Inu - Yasha

So that's a number of videos, and that took me longer than I thought, likely because I was often distracted, often by the very videos I had hoped would save me time.

Still all the songs and videos were awesome weren't they?
Hate to say I told you so.
The Hives - Hate to Say I Told You So

Why all of this? Because I wanna.

So take it to your head, take it to your heart, and remember Rand rocks. Goodnight Folks!