So I've been away. The first week or two I can excuse through finals and graduation (Wooo! Graduated! Thank you Lord!), but there's still a week or so which I can only say I chose not to post anything. Why such a thing?
Well, like I've said before, writing these posts, even if no one reads them, is something productive for me, and I have been ambivalent about being productive. With college and all over with, I no longer have a definite pressing obligation toward working (other than the fact I'm sucking up my parents money), and so I can drift a little bit, a bit detached from it all. There's something terribly peaceful about being detached from everything.
(Quick reference: watch the Fountainhead movie (you can read the book, but even if you're not a fan of Ayn Rand, the movie's pretty cool), there's a scene where the female lead drops a beautiful Greek sculpture down a garbage shoot, when asked why, she says because I loved it. Ties of love are ties that bind)
Well, as I noted in my reference above, ties of love are ties that bind. When you engage in anything productive you take on responsibilities to maintain such things or have the pain of watching them fade. As CS Lewis once noted, the only place the heart is at peace outside of heaven is in hell.
So there is that peace of utter lack of care in detachment. But screw peace.
So bit by bit I'm trying to shake off this feeling of, and a certain visceral desire for, detachment so I can start living again. And this is one step, and I have taken others, and I will take others.
And step by step, onto the silver sea.
Until the last step must be taken by us all.
And then if we're lucky, the steps will be a staircase to the kingdom in the sky.
So take it to your head, take it to your heart, and remember Rand rocks. Goodnight Folks!
And God Bless.
6 months ago