Rumors of my hiatus have been greatly exaggerated by me

Because I said that earlier, and now I take it back - SPIN MOVE!.

Now before you question my sincerity - who are you to question my sincerity!! (Seriously, who are you? People never comment around here. Comment damn you I command it!), I will say this... why the heck would I take a hiatus?

Well, why do people take hiatuses or hiati as the Romans might say (they wound't say that by the way)?

Usually to go on vacation, to do a reassessment of things without the weight of their work hanging over them...

So I might go on hiatus during a trip to India coming up later this month... INDIA!!! WOOOOO!!!... but to be honest, the whole removal of weight of work thing just doesn't gel when you start mixing it up.

Because writing, despite it's occasional stresses and a frustrating lack of focus, energy and inspiration of late, is ultimately expressive of my soul and more than that enriching of my soul. I become stronger through writing, and though it requires effort that is effort well spent...

And yet, there are many other places where effort must be spent in my life. So why reserve a spot for this one?

Because writing is a part of me, a very core and essential part and to discard it would be to leave a piece of my spirit to rot and that dog won't hunt monsignor.

And thus Rand rambles on...endlessly and awesomely... BECAUSE I AM RAND, the GREAT AND GLORIOUS!!!

Anywho, take it to your head, take it to your heart and remember Rand rocks. Goodnight Folks!

And God Bless.

And in the stone temple like a pilot I will light a fire

If you can't tell (ie if you have no taste in music and are a bum, yeah I'm talking to you Frank, don't make me come down there!), this is a reference to the most excellent Stone Temple Pilots Song Creep and take a view of the lyrics here

And am I?

Lighting a fire, don't mind if I do...

And while the arson charges are being dealt with...

Anywho, yeah, I am feeling a bit uninspired. It's happened before and it'll happen again, these things happen, that doesn't mean it doesn't suck.

In fact it really sucks.

In fact it really sucks combined with other issues in my life which I could at least pretend were inspiring.

But now I can't.

Which sucks.

Dude...lame...

In the end, the cure to any writer's block is at its core drilling through it through perseverance. But it's drilling with your brain. That's not pleasant. (As Barton Fink can attest to).

I'm tempted to just put all my troubles on my romantic frustrations. But that's silly. Yes, I am only at full potential when in love, fueled by a muse I am more capable at almost every aspect of my life. But there have been plenty of times when I've not been in love and still been plenty creative.

And then there's the one ever present eternal love of my life, God. Endlessly, perfectly loving.

If my life is not complete without a muse (and that's a big if, but it's something I'm starting to suspect is true, which isn't so dramatic, after all it just means I'd like to get married someday), my life does not begin without God. And even in my worst writer's block, I can still turn to God and find inspiration...

Bits of it at least, though that's still a gift, and I know that this is probably just a lean time. Yet it's still frustrating. And perhaps that frustration too will become inspiration but...

...but sometimes instead of struggling to figure out what to write, I'd rather just light a fire.

But that ain't an option, because I'm doing the Lord's work, and that means I got to carry my cross, but God's at my side, so that means it's not so bad really.

I just forget sometimes and lose myself in that frustration, but stepping back, it's really not so bad... I suppose I just wish it were better... especially as the ghosts remind me of the best I ever had... not really sure what that means in my case, but it all reminds me of melancholy things, but also that in the end I'm pretty lucky all and all.

In the end, if God's with you, it's never that bad, and He's always with you.

So take it to your head, take it to your heart and remember Rand rocks. Goodnight Folks!

And God Bless.