Sunday, July 29, 2007

I too must be left behind

So a while ago, I dealt in a long session about my feelings about a girl who caused my second heartbreak (I use that word to simplify an annoyingly complex situation). But I've overall gotten over it, except I wish, I wish we could still be friends (I also still have some feelings of guilt over the way the relationship ended and until just a bit ago I had some fear that since she had had some depression problems that she was dead). I really liked this girl and to have no contact with her seems just sad. Well, let me take a step back from present time to a couple years ago when I had some stronger lingering feelings, I saw her name on Facebook. Given that she had cut off contact with me and that I had attempted several unsuccessful times to contact her immediately after that (phone calls, emails, etc.), it probably was a bad choice to send her a message, or maybe it wasn't I'm not really sure. But I had thought that time had passed and perhaps we could become friends even if romance was out of the question.

Soon after that she removed her Facebook account.

Now I see she's started a new one (at another college, though, making me wonder whether I provoked a breakdown in her forcing her to switch colleges, and even though that is a very arrogant and paranoid thought, it still bothers me). This has provoked some deep relief for me because I had feared that her problems had finally gotten to her, but it also raised the question should I try to contact her again. The sensible answer taking into consideration the past is no. But right now, having just seen her Facebook account I find myself filled with sadness, regret, and self-loathing and I almost feel that if I could talk to her all that could go away.

But first of all, given my past try it probably wouldn't bring a reply, it might prompt her to remove her Facebook account (although a less me-centric view of the situation might conclude that for other reasons she left her previous college and that caused her to remove her Facebook account since this was back in the day when Facebook was still for college kids (and not you high school bums, yeah you know who you are BUMMMMMMS!!!!)), it might simply bother her and I don't want to do that. It's unlikely that anything she could say could erase feelings that are have stretched themselves way beyond the rational. While I did some really stupid things when I was trying to get her to be my girlfriend, nothing I did was really that bad, and while it would be nice to have contact with her, not having contact with her isn't the end of the world. Yet it feels like I was a monster to her and it feels like not being able to contact her is the end of the world, and this sucks a great deal, but it's not something rational, and it's not something that could be defeated by getting even a good answer from her (it certainly won't be helped by a bad answer). Instead I simply have to remind myself of the truth, I wasn't that bad, and while I did love her, I have moved on in my life. And though the waves of emotion will crash upon me still, if I keep that in mind, and try to keep living my life and not wallow in depression, eventually this too will fade. A part of me is sad about that, insisting that my feelings for her should never fade and that I should try no matter what to win her over.

But she doesn't love me, and I have accepted that, and even if it makes me sad I have to keep my feelings for her dead and gone, because she, for whatever reasons she had, she had to leave me behind, and now I must do the same.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

I wanted to be all you need

Perhaps in response to my newest, I guess, prehaps crush, perhaps, but the point is that I seem to be dwelling in my memories of the last time I had, well, to summarize a complicated situation in a short and completely and utterly cliched way, the last time I had my heart broken. I imagine it's just a way of my brain telling me to stop trying and just give up on women. The relation between this and the title (not that there needs to be a reason between the title and subject of a session, at least in my book and my book is the only one that counts, especially after I start writing it) is that the title is part of the chorus of the song Here is Gone by the Goo Goo Dolls (I'm not a fanatic on the Goo Goo Dolls but I like them pretty well and especially, most especially this song, which is actually somewhat, although not totally atypical from most of their stuff), anyways, that song, especially that line sums up that heart-breaking occurance pretty well. When it strikes me there are parrellels between a song and my life I like to try to explicate it a little and so I thought I'd explore that a little (now this may seem a little random since, well, ok, here's the deal, I've wanted to talk for a while about the last time my heart was broken because well, it's a good piece of who I am, and this is one of the less uncomfortable ways to do this), so let's look at the lyrics and I'll explicate a couple lines with my life, let's do this!

Here is Gone
By Goo Goo Dolls

You and I got somethin
But its all and then its nuthin to me, yeah

I'm trying to do this in a way that avoids naming names, but I suppose since there are very few people who actually know or care much about our whatever it was, I can let loose some details. I met her when I was hospitalized in a mental instution, I got out before she did, and even after she got out we didn't really see each other and so although we kept contact through phone and email there were times when I could almost forget about her, when she was gone from my mine, but most of the time I was filled with passionate insensity about her, that somethin we had was nuthin sometimes but usually it was all to me.

And I got my defenses
When it comes through your intentions for me, yeah

I don't know if this really applies, maybe that's why I usually forget these parts of the lyrics, see while I had intentions, I wanted her as my girlfriend, I wanted a relationship, etc., she, she, well I don't know what she thought, but I don't think she had much intentions for me, she liked me at least at friend level at first at least, but the one time she actually really got into the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing she told me that she didn't think she could deal with that stuff at the time, my interpertaion of that was clumsy, stupid and insensitive, basically I thought well, I'll wait a while and then she'll want to be my girlfriend and then after a while I said, well I think we're boyfriend and girlfriend at least that's how it is to me, I didn't see if she was ready despite the fact that she had been having all these things to deal with, and maybe I'm being to critical of myself, but it was awfully stupid to just come out and say that when I hadn't seen her in person since I left the hospital. So if anything my defences were my delusions of a romantic relationship to her intentions for me, which were ultimately nothing


And we wake up in the breakdown
With the things we never thought we could be, yeah

We were both dealing with breakdowns at the time, people warned me not to try for a relationship because of that, but, well I did, and so well, again to summarize in a overly-simplified and overly-cliched way, I got my heart broken



Im not the one who broke you
Im not the one you should fear

If I still had any contact with her I would tell her that...I dunno, I never meant her any harm, that I'm really just harmless, and so there was never any reason to fear me, if she did fear me, I don't know if she did. It's another one of the dimensions of that situation which I don't understand. But I really wish that if we couldn't be girlfriend and boyfriend we could at least be friends, but instead she stopped responding to my emails and calls and so I have to assume she had a little bit of fear about me, and if I could I would just like to assure her that I'm not the one you should fear

We got to move you darlin
When she was still in the hospital I used to tell her that if she wanted I would break her out and run away from her. I was high on the emotion and young and said all sorts of crazy, stupid stuff like that.

I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all

I would pretend with people that she was my girlfriend, I told myself that I was just simplifying the matter, but the truth was I wanted to pretend, but she never told me that she was my girlfriend and in the end all the romantic dreams I had of us came to nothing


And I want to get free
Talk to me

So much of that period in my life was just trying to get away from my fears and anxieties and my disease, but when I talked to her a certain peace washed over me, that's how I think you know you're in love, when just talking to someone can make you feel completely and utterly healed and whole, I miss that

I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be
All you need

I knew she was still having problems and I wanted so bad to make them all go away, I wanted to be the one to take away all her pain because I felt that she could do that for me and I wanted to be the one she relied on, I wanted to be her superhero, but perhaps she didn't need any of that or perhaps she just didn't want it from me

Somehow here is gone
In the end that all belongs to the past, she cut off contact with me, and I no longer want to bother her with my attempts to renew contact. I did try very recently, but I think she made it clear she doesn't want to deal with me, even if she never actually said it. The thing is though, because I know she suffered from the same sort of problems I did I worry about the fact that I can't contact her, because what if she's dead, and what if it's my fault, and what if she's dead?


I am no solution
To the sound of this pollution in me, yeah

I still don't know how to solve all my anxieties and fears and disease, I can make things better but I don't know how to get rid of all this, except to trust in God to save me

And I was not the answer
So forget you ever thought it was me, yeah

I never knew how to really help her, so no matter how I wanted to help her, I was not the answer but these lines, especially the second belong more to her, because in the end she was not the answer to my problems either and she probably would wish that I would forget you ever thought it was me

Im not the one who broke you
Im not the one you should fear
We got to move you darlin
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all

And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone

And I dont need the fallout
Of all the past thats in between us

In the end this is past, and I'm tired of dwelling on the scars that these events left on me and I'm sure she is too. Of course, the past is a part of us and I like who I am and so I don't really wish it gone, unless, unless the fallout ends up really hurting one of us. But I really think I'm sort of over this, for a long time I would dwell endlessly on this situation and just like it once inspired me to write love poems the situation then compelled me to write poems of despair and then to despair so much that writing no longer seemed worth it, but eventually I moved on from it, still it is a part of me and from time to time my mind wonders to those days and it makes me smile to remember the good times with her and then it makes me sad to remember how things ended up, especially now that I'm feeling a new crush, not love mind you, but still probably, perhaps, an actual crush, my mind drifts back to this, perhaps trying to justify my fears of making any attempt to ask this new girl out

And I'm not holding on
And all your lies weren't enough to keep me here

Like I said I'm not holding on to this stuff anymore, I mean it's a part of me, but it's no longer my obsession. But the second line doesn't apply to me, she never lied to me, but perhaps it's owed to her, I told her that I would do all sorts of romantic stuff, and I wroter her all sorts of romantic stuff but in the end I didn't see her in person once after she left the hospital, and all my romantic fantasies came to nothing (well, they did inspire various writings, including the epic poem, but when it came to what I gave her, it came to nothing, I always really did want to give her gifts and shower her with love, but while I gave her some random crap in the hospital and wrote her stuff, ultimately, in the end, it really amounted to very little), she could say very justified that all your lies weren't enough to keep me here and I could say nothing in response except I'm sorry and I didn't mean to lie, but that really amounts to very little and much too late


And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone

And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling

I know its out there
I know its out there

I know, when I'm not paranoid about her being dead from suicide and depression or something, I know that she's still out there and I wonder and sometimes I used to even fantasize about what if I met her again, so, what was my love, well I know it's out there but since I can't really do anything about it, I guess that's not that important except for the comforting thought that the world's better off for having her out there

And I can feel you falling

I know its out there
I know its out there
Somehow here is gone, yeah

I know its out there
I know its out there
Somehow here is gone, yeah
In the end it's over, it's done with, it is gone but the fear it brings still remains, and that's one of the reasons in addition to my natural paranoia and anxiety I've been so nervous about asking girls out and especially nervous about what I'm feeling now with this maybe crush, of course the whole mess I had with another girl before even my last heart-breaking also left scars, but that's for a different session

It's a good song is it not? Least I think so. I'm sure there's more I could write about this matter, and perhaps someday I will, but I don't feel like doing it now. So anyways, take it to your head, take it to your heart, and remember Rand rocks. Goodnight Folks!

Some dreams deserve to die

I often say to myself, in this webpost or to other people that I am an ambitious man. That is undoubtedly true. I want success, I want influence, I want fame and a long and far reaching legacy. Most of all, I want power, beautiful, immense and utterly absolute power. Lately I have pondering exactly what this ambition means to me. It's this pondering that has led me to some odd thoughts.

One of the manifestations of my ambition as well as my love of stories and tales is that occasionally I play out in my head dramatic scenes of me acting like some sort of superhero or supervillain and often a part of that is the confrontation scene where I find my counterpart and stunned by my appearance he asks, "Who are you?" because no mere human should be able to do what I have done in this little story playing in my head.

Although the answer most of the time is simply "I'm Rand," I've played with a lot of variations on the question, such as "Who are you that you could survive my minions?" and "Who are you that walks through walls and controls flames?" (when I pretend to have superpowers), but one variation of the question bothered me profusely, I imagined a confrontation where my enemy said to me "Who are you that you controls the winds and the waves?" Now what bugs me about this is that this far too close to

'"Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him."'

A description of Jesus in Luke 8:25. These little senarios I make up in my head in a way sort of capture my ambitious spirit, it shows that I want to be something so incredible that anyone who opposes me will not be able to even understand who I am. But now I was comparing myself to Jesus in this scene, and in a way I was showing an ambition to be Jesus, and not in the way that I want to imitate Jesus' goodness but in a way that I want the power of Jesus, I want the power of God.

If this kind of seems almost blasphemous well, I didn't intend it to be that way at least consciously. Unconsciously I guess this was my desire. And to be honest this scares me. Am I really that ambitious to go to the point that I want to have the power of God? This really smacks of meglomania and insanity. Which really isn't suprising given that I have many symptoms of manic-depression and meglomania is simply another one. But that doesn't help the fact that I have this desire, and unlike my other symptoms of my mental illness which seems to come to me from parts of my brain that almost seem completely separated from the rest of my personality, this seems deeply engrained in my own self.

But in the end what I have to do is reject this. I cannot be a good Christian and harvest this ambition. Yes I can take advantage of my ambitiousness to keep me driven but I must always remember to keep myself in check.

And that makes me wonder. One of my common dreams is to enter politics, to become a political deal maker, to become a key person in international politics that makes the world tremble at his will. But if I am to keep my meglomania in check, I think it might be time to say goodbye to this dream.

Moreover, I think I must keep in track my cultivation of this alternate persona of Rand. I was planning to create a Randopedia, something like Wikipedia but based on my views on things with input from users but edited to keep my ideas primary. I was also planning to create Rand-centric productions for videos and such (not just like my comic and perhaps a spin off of that but cultivating Rand as a media persona). I was even dreaming of trying to create a sort of school of thought following of myself.

Even more sadly, I was pondering whether I should use the organization of Knights of Mars I was trying to start (based on the ideal of friendship) as an instrament of my ambitions and dreams.

It doesn't matter that all of these ambitions seem completely unrealistic, what I wanted was to complete them in part or bits, so I could taste power at the very least. It occurs to me that all of this is madness. And so perhaps it is time to throw that all away. Perhaps it is time to give up on my idea of becoming a high political official (although I'm not ruling out any involvement in politics), perhaps I should abandon the idea of creating Rand as a media figure and perhaps I should put the idea of the Knights of Mars on the back burner until I can truly concentrate it on the idea of friendship (or maybe given my bad organizational abilities and lack of concentration perhaps the better course would be to entrust someone else with the idea).

But then in the end what do I want for my life. Well, I want to write stories and I want to share my ideas with the world and I want to help people with those things. But perhaps what I don't need is to become powerful, it would be nice, but perhaps I just need to put that behind my writing and such. I dunno. All I know is I really don't want to be a man obsessed with ambition. I need to remember that and keep that in mind whenever I get the temptation to obsess over my lack of power. If I end up not powerful so be it, as long as I am a good man, it does not matter.

Friday, July 27, 2007

In the body in the mind in the stomach

Now for something a little different.
Buh-awug-awuga.
That's actually not something very different from my regular persona, but I said something a little different not very different. But moving on from that, I find myself wondering how exactly to start my intended topic without sounding monumentally whiny. Perhaps my difficulty in doing so is a warning that I should not attempt it since perhaps the topic is inherently whiny and so perhaps I should go with something else. But the medium of webpost (my replacement word for blog, because blog is such an ugly, ugly word) is by its nature a hit or miss forum, it is designed for the easy expression of thoughts and emotions, not all thoughts and emotions, even those that might appear useful might not actually be useful. But if I am too cautious, I can not maintain a steady flow of posts and the webpost will transform into nothing but a collection of rough, unpolished essays and not very many of them. The frequent schedule of the webpost has been vital in keeping me writing and I'd very much dislike to end that, and so I press on into the unknown or the known whichever.

Anyways, a thought which has occurred to me lately, often, is I don't take good care of my body. I eat badly, don't exercise enough, drink too much caffine, are careless about germs, I don't brush at night (I do do so during the day, mostly), I don't sleep much and I eat at odd times. Now much of this can be explained rationally. I eat badly much of the time because I like good food over healthy food. I am also supremely lazy and extremely casual, and this does not lend itself to the formal habits of taking care of myself well. But I think sometimes it's more than a matter of that. Take my brushing habit for example. Now brushing is a small thing and honestly while I might forget about it every now and then if it was just a matter of laziness I would still brush most of the time. But rather when I even think of brushing my teeth at night I freeze up. I get filled with anxiety. It suddenly occurs to me that if I try to brush now I'll be committing myself to brush in the future. Moreover it seems almost as a commitment to self improvement. And then as I face this anxiety I face the continuing self doubt about my ability to conquer my anxiety. And then there is a feeling within me that hates any idea of self improvement and seeks any chance for me to harm myself (the slow decay of my teeth being one of those opportunities)

When I'm depressed the fullness of this becomes apparent. I stop brushing, I stop bathing, I stop eating except when I force myself (often I trick myself by pretending that I'm eating food just to give in to my base appetite) and even then I eat mostly food that's very bad for me.

I suppose what it comes down to is I need to put caring for my body as one of the things I need to force myself to do when I'm depressed, just like going to school and work. After all, I have many things to do in the world before I die.

But it is an open question as to how much of a degree of taking care of my body I want to engage in. My basic plan now is enough to stay healthy (I'm not really doing that right now because I've been pushing off my lyme disease testing for way to long), and enough to be comfortable with myself. But I suppose I should add to that enough to attract a girl.

Because like I said before, most men in the world keep their appearances up just to attract women, and those that don't are mostly arrogant or gay. Mostly.

Anyways, take it to your head, take it to your heart and remember Rand rocks. Goodnight Folks!

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Anime for the lazy May

Except it's July so it's not lazy May. But anyways even though Youtube has annoyingly been removing a lot of it's tv shows (ah, I can't blame them, lawsuits and all, but I'll elaborate my position on this sort of stuff later). Yet there still are some tv shows if you look for them. At least with old anime shows, like Video Girl Ai and Ranma 1/2 and some episodes of Azumanga Daioh (which isn't really old which might explain how some of the episodes have been removed).

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Welcome to the Show that never ends, except when it does, which probably won't be soon

And with that title I say hi.

The Good, the Bad, and the Absolutely Horrible

In much of the debate about the war in Iraq many commentators have said that going to Iraq was either a good or bad choice. Because of the nature of conversation this is perfectly natural and perfectly acceptable, but it does hide a bit of the reality of international, national, and heck all politics really, but especially international. International politics is rarely a matter of unqualified good and unqualified bad decisions, it is a matter of better decisions, worse decisions, and the constant possibility of monumentally horrible consequences even from the right choices. In the debate about Iraq we should always remember that the choice for invading Iraq was never as simple as whether to go or not, it was whether to leave Saddam in power and let his rule play out to its fulfillment or end, or to invade. Ultimately I think the choice made was wrong, but in considering the matter we must look carefully at the alternatives.

In retrospect, Saddam did not have weapons of mass destruction, he likely would have cooperated with terrorists if the opportunity raised itself but it was unlikely he would have become much of a leader for him given his crippled economy and weak military. He did not pose a short or medium term threat to us, only in the possibilities of the longer term did the chance of a threat arise. Given the alternative of leaving him in power, he would rail against the US, he would give support to Palestian suicide bombers and likely some other terrorist groups but not in a major way, he might attempt to rebuild his military but with a crippled economy and continuing sanctions and endemic corruption this would be very difficult, especially given his own mismangement of his military. Geopolitically he would remain a minor source of destabilizing but not a major one.

Looking between the two choices, from a threat assessment point of view leaving him in power was the better alternative given that there is an inherint risk of destabilizing a country in the democratizing process even in the best of situations (let us remember that even in the US after the Revolutionary War (a fairly bloody affair despite claims to the contrary), we had a mass exodus of loyalists and several years of pretty unstable government under the Articles of Confederation which sparked a sizable revolt, and we were in danger of subversion from several foreign powers including Spain and Britian). Especially given what we know now.

But let us look at the moral perspective. The current situation is pretty disasterous, much violence, much chaos. But like I said, it isn't a matter of good or bad but better or worse. Leaving Saddam in power wasn't good either from a moral perspective. Saddam had attempted genocide before, against the Kurds he had used chemical weapons and done a mass killing campaign which decimated the population especially the male population and especially coupled with refugees fleeing the country. But leaving him in power would he have done it again? If he could, most likely yes, especially given the pro-American bent of many of the Kurds and his need to rally Arab nationalism to secure his position within his country and internationally. He was sponsoring a highly murderous group in the Kurdistan region of Iraq that was destabilizing the area. But could he have attempted genocide again? No. In truth, our no-fly zone and support of the Kurdish parties in Iraqi Kurdistan had made it highly difficult to enforce his will there even if he was to be incredibly ruthless about it. In truth he would not be able to attempt genocide against the Shi'ites either because there are simply too many Shiite Iraqis.

But that doesn't mean his rule would not be horrible. He would continue torturing, continue terrorizing, continue his tryanny for the forseeable future. Even though his country was weak, it was stronger than the power of its people (this isn't meant as an insult to the Iraqis but rather an assessment of Saddam's highly effective efforts to paralyze non-governmental organizations, keep his people divided and paranoid (this was actually a large cause of much of the sectarianism we are seeing today, it is possible, although this is a debatable point, if during the somewhat lighter rule and more prosperous times of the pre-First Gulf War era might have been less prone to this sectarianism and perhaps had we freed the Iraqis (and it is a matter of freeing them instead of granting them liberty, liberty is a natural right that was taken away from them, not something to be given) during the First Gulf War, perhaps the current situation could have been avoided), and maintain a strong internal security structure. He was a monsterous tyrant, one of the worst in the world (although probably in terms of monstrocity of the tryant (although perhaps not severity of the situation), North Korea has it worse off), and it seems to me, although this is a debatable point, that given his lack of care for his own population, no international pressure short of military intervention could really change matters. And so he would remain. Given that dictators who can live very luxuriously when they don't have serious opposition, this could mean another 30 or so years of tyranny. Of course then there's succession. If a dictator does not have a clear successor, a less ruthless, weaker, or less capable ruler might arise and that might lead to a collapse of the dictatorial system. However, Saddam did have two clear candidates for succession and had clearly established one as his favorite, his sons. This suggests that there would most likely not be a huge struggle for leadership after Saddam's death and even if one of his sons died, the other could still take his place.

By most accounts, one of his sons, the older one, was somewhat unstable, and might, might have been destabilizing to the government, but given the weak state of the anti-governmental forces outside Iraqi Kurdistan, even this would not have led to the end of tryanny and given the cruelty of his unstable character, things would not get better and could very well get worse. His other son, the one most likely to be next in line, was more stable, but just as if not more ruthless. His reign would be just as brutal, and he would care just as little about his people giving him a cushion against international pressure. This could lead most likely to another 30 or 40 years of tryanny, during which a rebuild of Iraq would be possible, however, matters this far in the future are conjectures for futurists must always remember that crystal balls always have a bit of haze to them.

The end result would be most likely another 50 or so years of absolute tryanny. But again 50 years is a long time things could change, however given that Saddam and his sons are for the most part, ruthless, smart and internally powerful, all the components for an indefinite tryanny are there. A possible objection to this perdiciton is that most tryannies don't last this long, but my answer to that is, most tryannies lack to some extent ruthlessness (most tryants to some degree, somewhere in their hearts care about their people and this often leads to their downfalls because then they respond to needs for economic growth or mercy), intelligence (although there are various kinds of intelligence, many tyrants while they might possess the intelligence to rise to power, they lack the intelligence to maintain it for long periods of time), or internal power (during the Cold War and immediate aftermath this was especially true since either the US or the Soviet Union almost always picked some anti-governmental force to support)). Then there must be the consideration of what would the democratization of Iraq be like after Saddam. If a good ruler emerged things might be alright. But sectarianism was not decreasing during Saddam's time it was increasing, and it would have kept increasing if Saddam remained in power, the democratization of Iraq might have ended up more brutal than even now, althoug here we must remind ourselves that this is a matter of extreme conjecture. That is the sad alternative.

Is the current situation better? In the short term and possibly medium term (depending on how long the chaos lasts), no. The current chaos is worse than Saddam's reign for many, if not most, people. In the long term, probably, the nation is not so divided that it would altogether collapse and it has a clear ethnic majority that currently and for the forseeable future has more power than the minority and so matters will eventually settle down. Will there be genocide though? It is possible, but given that there are sizable areas with Sunni majorities, and the Sunnis while weaker than the Shi'ites are still considerably powerful, furthermore divisions exist between the Shi'ite, while not numerous enough to create indefinite chaos in Iraq, although numerous to create short and possibly medium term chaos in Iraq, it is enough to make Shi'ite politicians interested in courting Sunni leaders for political support. Genocide is still possible, but highly unlikely in my view, although this is debatable.

However, countries should not invade each other simply because they believe that it is better for the people of that country, even if they are right. Especially given the considerable ideological component of the word "better" (some people say it is better to be poor and free, some people say it is better to be rich and oppressed, some people say it is better to be poor and oppressed but have cultural integrity, the first group is right by my book, and that's the only book that counts, but my point is that people disagree about the word), it is generally not a good idea, although this is a debatable point and I do admire the idealism of those who disagree with me on it (if you don't catch it here I'm arguing against the Cold War as well as any potential new Cold Wars). The problem is that this causes considerable international chaos by essentially creating a global war fought potentially everywhere (although some places will be "hotter" than others). Every government will have to look over its back for a potential revolt. Paranoia will spread and this will encourage even those defending liberty to resort to measures that undermine freedom. Among those less fond of liberty reprisals for even whiffs of revolt can be brutal and at times, genocidal. Military intervention, or considerable support for rebels everywhere where people are seen as oppressed, while perhaps in the long term good (after the Cold War ended freedom and even economic growth has spread immensely), in the short and medium term, a short and medium term that could last even 70 years (the approximate length of the Cold War), things can be in some cases be absolutely horrible (see the Khmer Rouge where approximately 1/3 of the population of Cambodia was slaughtered, and yet during different times the regime was supported by the US and the USSR).

So overall, the invasion of Iraq was not the right choice. Countries should only be invaded if there is an imminent danger or perhaps an imminent threat of genocide. But things would not have been good for Iraqi people by any stretch of the word if Saddam remained in power, or if a similiar tyrant takes hold. And yet things are not good now. Leaving Saddam in power was more likely the better alternative, but it was not a good one. It is still a sad one. That is the nature of so much of international politics, when even the most ethical and even correct of people must make choices involving trade-offs that cost thousands of lives or leave a people oppressed for decades. It is sad, very sad. But this world is often not kind to those who dwell in it.