So what do you want?

While as noted in my twitter my mojo is working (though not necessarily working on you), I am still very much the sick. So I'm digging out an old session that was in drafts and throwing it out there because it good stuff and I good stuff and etc.

I'm kind of tired of the long titles I've been doing for a couple sessions now. I did them for two reasons, first was because it was fun and second was because I wanted to increase views. It isn't really fun anymore and doesn't really seem to be increasing views. I'm somewhat unabashed about my desire to increase views makes sense from my perspective. I think I can produce something quality, and while that in itself is an accomplishment, it is better if I expose the world to my quality goods. In addition, I'm ambitious by nature, which means that this role of the writer who actually gets read suits me well. I think that's important, that it suits me. Yes I want to do good, but I want to do good my way, and my way is writing and being heard.

There are a lot of ways to do good really. You can be an artist (like I fancy myself, although I try to avoid the word artist, because it does have a pretentious reputation (although the sound of the word isn't too bad), I tend to use the word writer even though I wouldn't mine working in mediums other than the written word) or similiarly a builder or creator of some sort. You can be a discoverer, someone who studies things, makes analyses or just reveals things unknown or underlooked. You can be a helper, you can be a teacher, or you can just be a good friend, spouse, or parent. There is a school of thought which feels that a person should do whatever will benefit the most people. I don't really think that. I think that yes, you should do good with your life, but you should do good in a way that you want. There are so many ways to do good, so many needed ways, and are some needed more than others yes, but... but to completely sublimate your will to what others need I think is to destroy a part of yourself, and if humans really are beautiful and worth helping then it seems obscene to destroy such an essential part of one.

So what if you don't know what you want? What then? Or what if you can't get what you want? Then deal with what you have. We all have ways to help open to us, and almost always there are ways to help out there, available to us immediately, even if it is only our personal relationships. Or maybe, and this is a maybe, even if it is just preparing to help. But you need to watch out for that one, some people end up preparing for their lives doing things (that's actually one of my greatest worries). Hopefully you can do some good along the way and/or you can make some definite plans.

Then there's always helping yourself. There's nothing wrong with that. I always believe in self-worth and I dislike the villianization of selfishness (in some forms), but even if you're more severing people-centered you can remembered that you yourself is a person. Still, concentrating on just yourself is pretty hollow. Even for yourself. I mean if all your work is on yourself you're restricting your soul by cutting off its ties to the world. It's not good for you just to follow your pleasures, at least that's how I figure it.

So that's how I think about that. Whatever. So I'm still going to try to get an audience, and even if I don't I think I'm ok with it as long as I keep trying (well, no, but I wouldn't be ok with it even if I was accomplishing stuff since I'm just a little bit crazy (but despite my craziness, or perhaps because of it I am still Rand, the great and glorious!)). I've always believed that you can live a good life even if you just live trying to do good. But if you're not even trying to do good, no matter what you accomplish, no matter who likes you, no matter how much fun you have, you still have a bad life. True worth belongs to truth, and truth isn't what people think, it's what is, and if you're religous, it is the mind of God.

So that's really what I think about that. Probably that's enough for now. So take it to your head, take it to your heart, and remember Rand rocks. Goodnight Folks!

God Bless.